I’m worried, because my father and a few very dear friends of mine live in Mexico City…
One should wonder why such inluenza outbreaks always seem to occur in big, overpopulated city. In this view I find this article very interesting. I never though about this before and now I’m interested to read more on the subject.
Sometimes I’m ashamed of my city, its chauvinism, ethnocentrism, terrible dialect…
But the buildings, the zoo, the port, the Cathedral… They make me proud… This is a video taped a few weeks ago as a promotion stunt for a new tv show. It was fully taped in our “Centraal Station”, one the biggest and most beautiful railway stations in Europe.
Enjoy!
I’m having weird dreams and I’m not used to it… They say everyone dreams but most of the time we forget our dreams. I’m really convinced I never dream, except once in a while, and then those dreams are really weird.
I once dreamed I was drowning… I woke up gasping for air. I remember that dream vividly… It has been over ten years, but I can still recall it and tell all the details…
The weirdest dreams are those that occur at the end of the night. If I wake up at some weird hour like 4 or 5 AM and I fall asleep again, I can be sure I’ll have the strangest, vividest dreams…
And I had one of those two nights ago… I dreamed that my mother was lying in the arms of one of my friends… And I was hugging my mother… It was a beautiful view. Somehow I was wondering what my mother was doing there, because if she wouldn’t be there… I would be lying in my friend’s arms… I felt so much longing…
And then I heard our daughter crying and woke up in a startle…
I always wonder how the dream would continue if I wouldn’t wake up… but that’s the curse… As I tend to start dreaming just before the alarm clock starts singing, I never get the end of it…
All that remains is the memory of you in my dreams and that longing feeling…
How do I really feel? How is my life? It’s hard to explain to outsiders, noone understands my/our choice.
My wife is still seeing her boyfriend. Do I like it? No! But I know that she loves us both like her own flesh, I know she falls apart every time she sees the pain she causes. She apologises for it. Most people who don’t know her say she should make up her mind, just chose… Well, that’s hard for her, because she knows that by chosing she’ll hurt the “loser” in such a way that he/she will have to go through hell… So, she can’t make up her mind.
We decided to leave the situation as it is until june 2010, the end of her studies. We’ll see from there on. She knows that I’m waiting patiently and lovingly for her, but not forever, I don’t want to keep my life on hold for the rest of my life.
In the meanwhile I’m going through my own process and evolution. I’m starting doing things for myself, like therapy and following a philosophy course. I’m trying to make new friends and to build a network around me, which I don’t have right now. I’m looking at myself, trying to find out what I really want, what my dream is. It’s hard and confronting, but it doesn’t make me unhappy.
I’m actually a much happier person than a year ago. I’m stronger too. Does it mean I’m not hurt? Of course not, but I’ve decided to stop whining and moaning and to make the best of it. Life is short, people come and go, and I don’t want to be the typical Belgian with his long, unhappy face…
So, I’m fine, really, my blog just shows the evolution I’m going through and it sounds nastier than it is…
