Winning and losing 2

After two weeks of thorough stress we finally managed to sell our house, we signed the papers yesterday. And my wife finished her exams today.

So we should be less stressed, relieved and grateful. Somehow it doesn’t seem to work. Maybe because we don’t feel like winners, we wanted to sell, but not whole heartedly, it is a must, nothing else, just to escape debts…

Dreams seem to be shattered, time for a new dream… I just don’t seem to find the energy to act upon the sentence “Yes, we can!”…

Maybe after the weekend…

Winning and losing

We thought our house was sold… but in the end they withdrew their offer… I must say this really hurt us many more times than a lot of other events the past months. The moment they said they would buy our house we just exploded in happiness. All the stress we had felt during this past year melted like snow in front of the sun. We just felt close to each other, relieved, a new future.

And than the disastrous call: we want to lower our offer or we won’t do it… We can’t afford to lower the price anymore.

Since we got those news, we just crumbled… we sleep badly, we snap at each other, we have several health complaints (colds, cramps, fever, headache). This was just the final upper cut. We don’t believe in our chances any more.

Winning or losing? It feels like losing, losing, losing, losing. Like those people who get beaten and every time they stumble to their feet someone else knocks them down.

I will survive and arise like a phoenix, I know it, that’s who I am. But right now, I feel beaten, tired and sad.