Return

She came back last night… And I can’t help wondering why… She’s so distant, so closed, she doesn’t seem to be happy to see me… She had a great time with our daughter, but when it came to us, she just claimed she feels sick and she needed some space…

Today she came to visit me to the office with our daughter… That was a nice thing to do… But again, I didn’t have the feeling she was enjoying and she doesn’t make any effort to conceal.

I can’t help trying to think whether this is different when she’s with Him… I actually asked and she said when she walked into his place, she immediately relaxed and started enjoying…

I started meditating again, in order to shift my focus from obsessive thoughts to constructive thoughts… It seems to help to relax and I’ve had 2 nights of good sleep, which is a record…

I friend of mine visited me Wednesday and invited me for dinner on Saturday, to celebrate my birthday… I’m really touched. My birthday is also my wedding anniversary, so this year I don’t really expect anything from my wife as there’s no much reason to celebrate. Therefore I’m really happy to go out with my friends.

And on Sunday I’m going out with another friend… I’m trying to have fun, to relax… Right now it’s impossible when I’m around my wife, but with friends I always have fun…