Books I recommend

I’m starting this new category… I want to share what I read… I’m a very fortunate person because I can read in several languages. This gives me an almost unlimited choice of books to read. I usually read several books at the same time…

In this category I want to share my great reading moments… Keep tuned…

Library

I love this presentation… unfortunately, I only have a Spanish version… I might take time one day to translate it…

Enjoy!

biblioteca

Photography

A treat for your eyes… naturesbestphotography

Keeping up the good practices

I’m enjoying the weather

I’m enjoying my work

I’m even enjoying my wife’s ups-and-downs

I’m enjoying my friends

I’m enjoying writing this

I’m enjoying this new blog (see the blog roll)

I’m enjoying my meditation moments

I’m enjoying and I love it!

Positive attitude

A friend of mine woke me up: enjoy life, stop complaining and wining, you deserve more than crumbles… It hurt on the spot, but after a few hours I just started this attitude. I don’t know how long it will last, but for now I’m just enjoying what I have… I had a great week with my wife, great birthday, much better than I expected. Today she’s leaving with Him and I just made plans to enjoy these days with my friends and my daughter. No wining, no crying… And what comes around goes around…

And another friend sent me these quotes on positive attitude, enjoy!

• A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.  ~Herm Albright, quoted in Reader’s Digest, June 1995
• If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.  ~ Oscar Wilde
• The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
• To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.  ~George Santayana
• Happiness is an attitude.  We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong.  The amount of work is the same.  ~Francesca Reigler
• If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  ~Mary Engelbreit
• Every thought is a seed.  If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious.  ~Bill Meyer
• Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.  ~Buddha
• Whenever you fall, pick something up.  ~Oswald Avery
• Become a possibilitarian.  No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities – always see them, for they’re always there.  ~Norman Vincent Peale
• Surrounded by people who love life, you love it too; surrounded by people who don’t, you don’t.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
• Be enthusiastic.  Remember the placebo effect – 30% of medicine is showbiz.  ~Ronald Spark
• Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.  ~Napoleon
• People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Worship,” The Conduct of Life, 1860
• I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.  ~Arthur Rubinstein

10 minutes

Return

She came back last night… And I can’t help wondering why… She’s so distant, so closed, she doesn’t seem to be happy to see me… She had a great time with our daughter, but when it came to us, she just claimed she feels sick and she needed some space…

Today she came to visit me to the office with our daughter… That was a nice thing to do… But again, I didn’t have the feeling she was enjoying and she doesn’t make any effort to conceal.

I can’t help trying to think whether this is different when she’s with Him… I actually asked and she said when she walked into his place, she immediately relaxed and started enjoying…

I started meditating again, in order to shift my focus from obsessive thoughts to constructive thoughts… It seems to help to relax and I’ve had 2 nights of good sleep, which is a record…

I friend of mine visited me Wednesday and invited me for dinner on Saturday, to celebrate my birthday… I’m really touched. My birthday is also my wedding anniversary, so this year I don’t really expect anything from my wife as there’s no much reason to celebrate. Therefore I’m really happy to go out with my friends.

And on Sunday I’m going out with another friend… I’m trying to have fun, to relax… Right now it’s impossible when I’m around my wife, but with friends I always have fun…

 

4th

This is the fourth week of our arrangement… We’ll problably evaluate during the following days to see where we go from now…

On the one hand I have the impression things are going better. No, she hasn’t chosen me (yet), but she hasn’t dejected either (yet). She’s more centered and gives more room to our relationship. We haven’t fought for several weeks although we’ve had a few nasty discussions. But we always managed to keep them in proportion.

On the other hand I can feel my emotional strength weaken… I don’t need a lot to start crying or to start thinking obsessively about how bad things are going. I really have a hard time letting go and focusing on the good things. Which is not abnormal as she confirmed she’s been having sex with him… I asked because I didn’t want to assume it and I felt it and didn’t want to go on asking myself the question “Have they done it or not?”… I wasn’t being naif, I just hoped I would get a different answer… And although I expected that answer it still hurt big time… And my tiny emotional balance was gone… So it’s difficult to let go… Especially when I get the impression she’s using two different measures… If I say something, she’ll be mad, if he says the same thing, she won’t… I hate that!

Now I try to spend my free moments meditating… It helps to put things in perspective… And by giving some room to all my feelings, they are less oppressing, they don’t choke me as much as they usually do…

Anyway, this 4th week has been the hardest and we’ll see tonight how we will go on… I admit I can’t take this much longer, but everytime I say so, I discover I’m stronger than I thought… So, we’ll see…