We’ve both just had a week off… It has been one of ups-and-downs… But at least we managed to close it in an “up” moment…
My body is starting to complain. I’ve been living in such an anguish for several months that my memory doesn’t seem to be working properly anymore. I can’t remember what I’ve said, how I said it, what she said, how she said it… Every single fight of this week has been based on misunderstandings. In the end, thinking something was really wrong with me, I went to the doctor’s… He really helped… He listened to me and calmed me down. He swore there was physically nothing wrong with me, but that my body is just shuting out some parts in order to cope… He prescribed valerian, a homeopatic product… I must say it really helps and I’m sorry I didn’t use it any sooner… It might have avoided a lot of crappy situations…
And I’ll need it this week… My wife is going to stay with him a few days… As a test… It broke my heart to see her leave… It’s my last hope to win her back… We made a full plan until May and then we’ll evaluate and probably decide what we’ll do…
Someone asked this week whether I saw myself getting old with her. If I’m fully honest, I must say no, at least not the way she’s now or we… I can’t live the rest of my life in constant anguish…
But for now I’ll try to go on as best as I can and hope for the best…
estas en buen camino…buscando ayuda y aceptando que asi no se puede seguir..
ahora..no creo que te puedas “ganar” a la gente..creo que las personas estan con uno porque asi lo quieren no porque nosotros hagamos X o Y para convencerles…
y…tal vez, un MUY largo tiempo de separacion te haria bien. para recuperar tu mente, tu cuerpo y tu equilibrio.para desmistificar tambien las emociones. a veces podemos confundir el amor con el miedo a la soledad, al fracaso ( que eso del fracaso considero que es para los que no intentan nada, pero es otro cuento).
la separacion es como cuando sacas la tortilla de la lumbre…evita que se queme.
hum…tal vez puedas aprovechar ese tiempo para entrar a alguna terapia, para analizar con ayuda tus sentimientos..(no los de ella.)
mucho cariño…